Sex Addiction - Part I

Sex Addiction - Is It Real or Just an Excuse?! By: Dr. Yaacov Rosedale

We’ve all heard the term "sex addiction" thrown around – sometimes seriously, sometimes as a joke. But what's really going on? Is it a real issue, or just a convenient label for someone who enjoys sex a lot? Let’s dive in.

First things first: Sex addiction isn't about liking "kinky" stuff, having too much sex, or even engaging in anything that might be considered taboo by some. At its core, it's not really about sex at all! It's about a loss of control. Imagine a constant internal battle where your thoughts and urges run wild, hijacking your decision-making process. That's the experience of a sex addict.

Looking at Pornography while Wife Sleeps - Unaware!

It's about engaging in behaviors – any behaviors – that you can't stop, even when they mess up your life. We’re talking about jeopardizing relationships, ignoring responsibilities, risking your health or even legal trouble – all in the relentless pursuit of a compulsion that offers little, if any, real satisfaction.

That’s why it's super important to separate "sex addiction" from the type of sex someone has. We don't want to unfairly stigmatize anyone based on their preferences. Acknowledging this helps us recognize that any sexual behavior, even "normal" stuff, can turn compulsive when it takes over a person's life.

Back to Normal?

Here's a major difference between sex addiction and many other addictions: total abstinence isn't usually the goal. Think about it – sex is a pretty vital part of life, especially in healthy relationships. So, recovery from sex addiction isn't about swearing off sex forever; it's about regaining control. It's about learning to manage compulsions, making conscious choices, and re-integrating healthy sexuality into your life.

This really highlights that sex addiction is less about the physical act and more about what’s driving it. It's about using sex as a coping mechanism to numb out negative emotions, stress, anxiety, or even boredom. Sound familiar? It's a common thread in many different types of addiction.

High Sex Drive? Not the Same Thing!

Okay, let's clear up another misconception: a high sex drive isn’t automatically a sex addiction. Some people are just naturally more interested in sex than others, and that's perfectly fine. There's a huge difference between enjoying frequent sexual activity and needing it to feel normal.

In fact, one of the sad ironies of sex addiction is that people often stop enjoying sex. The thrill fades, and compulsive behavior becomes less about pleasure and more about avoiding unpleasant feelings.

In drug addiction, the brain gets flooded with dopamine and over time it becomes numb to lower dopamine levels. This is very similar to drug addiction. Drug users who become addicted need to continue using the drug to feel normal and no longer seek a pleasurable high.

You might hear terms like "hypersexual" or "nymphomania/satyriasis" (for women/men respectively). While sometimes used casually, in a clinical setting, these terms are often used interchangeably with "sex addiction," "hypersexual disorder," or "compulsive sexual behavior."

The Bottom Line

Sex addiction is a very real, very painful struggle for those experiencing it. It’s important to separate that sex addiction isn’t just about having sex a lot; it's a complex issue related to mental health and coping with negative emotions. Is sex addiction real or just and excuse, it’s not an excuse it’s a mental disorder and deserves treatment and compassion.

If this resonates with you or someone you love, reach out. I’m here to help.

—Dr. Yaacov Rosedale, LPC, PhD, CASAP

yaacovmr@gmail.com   | +972-52-8084406  | 513-599-6700

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