Why Can’t I Stop the Cycle of Sex Addiction?

By: Dr. Yaacov Rosedale, PhD, LPC, CASAP

Let’s get real—if you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why do I keep doing this when I know it’s hurting me?”…you’re not alone. That question hits at the core of what makes sex addiction so painful—and so misunderstood.

Sex addiction isn’t about bad choices or weak willpower. It’s about getting stuck in a powerful, destructive cycle that keeps repeating itself. It usually starts with emotional discomfort—stress, loneliness, shame, anxiety, boredom, or even trauma triggers. That discomfort builds until the brain starts looking for relief. Enter the urge—the thought, fantasy, or craving that promises a hit of pleasure or distraction.

Then comes the ritual—the lead-up behaviors that almost feel automatic: scrolling, searching, fantasizing. This stage builds tension and creates a kind of trance. Eventually, the person gives in to the behavior—not necessarily because they want to, but because the pressure feels unbearable. Afterward comes the crash—guilt, shame, regret, self-loathing… and then, that emotional pain starts the whole cycle over again.

Sound familiar? That’s the trap. Not everyone sees the ritual stage, and not everyone understands that acting out often brings relief, not pleasure. That’s why so many people say, “I don’t even enjoy it anymore.” What they’re chasing is numbness, not fun.

This cycle can mess with relationships, values, self-esteem, and spirituality. And the more it continues, the more isolated and hopeless people tend to feel. But here’s the good news: you can break the cycle. It takes courage, support, and the right kind of help—not just to stop the behavior, but to understand what’s really underneath it.

If you’re stuck in a cycle that feels bigger than you, you don’t have to stay there. There is a way forward, and you're not broken—you’re human.lapse.

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If you see yourself in these signs, it's okay to ask for help.

It's brave.

If this resonates with you or someone you love, reach out. I’m here to help.

—Dr. Yaacov Rosedale, LPC, PhD, CASAP

yaacovmr@gmail.com   | +972-52-8084406  | 513-599-6700