Trauma, Attachment, and Addiction: Why the Past Won’t Stay in the Past

By: Dr. Yaacov Rosedale, PhD, LPC, CASAP

So many people I work with come in thinking their addiction is the problem—but more often than not, it’s actually the symptom.

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep doing this when I know it’s hurting me?” or “Why do I feel so empty or anxious all the time?”—you’re asking exactly the right questions. And to answer them, we have to go backward before we can move forward.

Addiction doesn’t show up in a vacuum. It often grows out of attachment wounds—early experiences where your emotional needs weren’t consistently met. Maybe there was abuse or neglect. Maybe you grew up in a home where feelings weren’t safe, where love came with conditions, or where you had to be perfect to be accepted. Or maybe nothing “big” happened—but you still felt unseen, unheard, or alone.

That’s trauma. And trauma doesn’t disappear just because we grow up.

Instead, it burrows deep into the nervous system. It shapes the way we see ourselves, how safe we feel in relationships, and how we cope with overwhelming emotions. And for many people, addiction becomes a way to numb the pain—to silence the anxiety, to avoid the shame, to fill the emptiness. It becomes the stand-in for connection, comfort, and control.

This is especially true in sex addiction and compulsive sexual behavior, where unmet attachment needs and early emotional injuries often get tangled up with intimacy, secrecy, and shame.

The good news? Healing is possible.

But it’s not just about stopping the behavior—it’s about going deeper. Real recovery means facing the parts of your story that haven’t been heard. It means learning how to feel again, to connect again, and to start responding to your pain in new, life-giving ways.

When we bring compassion and understanding to the past, we start to free ourselves from it. And that’s where true change begins.

You are not your trauma. You are not your addiction. You are a person with a story—and you deserve healing, connection, and peace.

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If this resonates with you or someone you love, reach out. I’m here to help.—Dr. Yaacov Rosedale, LPC, PhD, CASAP📧 yaacovmr@gmail.com | 📱 +972-52-8084406 | 🇺🇸 513-599-6700